"I said, ‘Jim, this is killing me. All the guys at my gym are saying they’re buying stocks at 12 and selling them the next day at 50. I need stories to tell them.’"

Cossack says he’ll never forget Berliner’s response. "He said, ‘If this is really what you want to do, you need to find someone else.’ Well, I didn’t want to do that. It’s like in junior high: I just wanted to lie about sex. I didn’t want a new broker." Though Cossack says he was never serious about leaving Berliner—they began working together in 1990—the conversation reinforced his faith that his money manager is honest and trustworthy, traits he finds most important in an advisor.

Indeed, listening to investors discuss what pleases them most about financial advisors is like reading a courtship guide: always returns phone calls promptly, shows an interest in hobbies and family, and maintains a pleasant disposition. Investors also consider high energy, trustworthiness, loyalty and intelligence essential qualities. Building a portfolio with solid performance is a given.

While many successful investors enjoy solid working relationships with their financial advisors, digging deeply into an individual’s fiscal affairs often reveals a history of hard-learned lessons. Getting to the point where an individual or family can demand and receive the best service can entail a backdrop of false starts and missed opportunities. Clients who have reached the top of the financial services pyramid (some of them admittedly more fiscally savvy than others) can offer insights into how they have built successful relationships with their current managers.

Build a Foundation of Trust
Trust clearly remains the primary component of the investor-advisor relationship. Many investors, while knowledgeable enough to conduct background checks and interview references, admit to simply having a gut feeling about their advisor’s fidelity. They seem ignorant of the ongoing skills required to build a bond characterized by confidence. Cossack knew he had picked a winner by the manner in which Berliner candidly assessed his own skills and long-term market strategy instead of capitulating in the face of Cossack’s demand for higher returns. Plainly put, Berliner proved that he is accommodating, but a professional focused on attaining stable performance over time versus chasing high-risk investments. Obviously, Berliner’s approach paid off when the tech bubble burst.

Ginny Neri recalls a pivotal moment with her advisor, Laurie Bagley of Strategic Wealth Advisors in Scottsdale, Ariz. "The only time we didn’t take her advice, we will forever regret," she says. Neri, a teacher, and her husband, Phil, a former executive with Dial and currently vice president of sales and marketing for Barrett-Jackson, a car auction company, had considered an investment in a vehicle that initially appeared quite sound. Bagley advised against it. They ignored her counsel, however, and eventually lost money. Since then, they’ve become disciples of her advice. "Several years ago, my husband thought about buying a business, and Laurie went over everything with a fine-tooth comb," Neri remembers. The couple rejected the deal, based mainly on Bagley’s counsel. "She would have been supportive if we had decided to do it anyway, but she doesn’t pull punches."